


The Irrelevants

by Im_too_tired_to_think_of_a_username



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:35:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23713711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_too_tired_to_think_of_a_username/pseuds/Im_too_tired_to_think_of_a_username
Summary: The dream bubbles have all popped, the Green Sun collapsed into a gaping black hole. Everything is gone, except for a small ship, and in it, four trolls, deemed irrelevant by the narrative until now.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Be sollux

You are now Sollux Captor, and you have just been ditched on a narratively meaningless planet by your pseudo-girlfriend, a robot coolkid, and some kind of alien. You look up into the space where the tear in reality they left through used to be, which accomplishes nothing, as you are blind and wear a a pair of eyepatches. It was a pain in the ass to bump into things when Aradia was still here, who knows how godawful it will be with nobody guiding you away from minor elevations and major skinned knees.

** Sollux: recall how you got here. **

Let's see. You'll start when you died, because you're not recounting your entire life story here for the sake of exposition. You guess your death would have been heroic if you had been god tier, piloting your friends away from a planet-killer, but you weren't god tier, so instead you just went to the afterlife like everyone else. 

You traveled around with Aradia, in various stages of blindness and deadness and half-ghostiness, eventually landing on a pirate ship captained by Vriska Serket. You hated her, and so did most everyone else, because all of you left, one at a time, into the sky, to Vriska's anger. As you absconded you brought along Feferi Peixes, your girlfriend before death, and Nepeta Leijon, who was also there.

You dropped them both off in a dream bubble far away from the big fight with Lord English, watched it yourself from a distance, Met up with Aradia again, and finally got sucked into the black hole, along with every other ghost, Aradia, LE, and some seizure-inducing hybrid of the Cool Human Kid and Nepeta.

You don't know what happened to anyone else, but you and Aradia hung out in the woods for a long time. You'd make sporadic appearances in public before disappearing again, people would take photos of both of you and circulate them in conspiracy theory message boards, you think you were in a horror movie about Aradia? That part of your life is all a hazy blur.

Then the cherub showed up, possessing a dead teenager and ready to rumble. And by rumble you mean stare into the sky for months with no breaks for food or water. You'd often get upset about something and wander off, and today was no different until, on your way back, you saw Lord English finally emerge from the sky. You expected this eventually, sure, but you didn't expect the cherub to eat him.

But eat him she did, then she tore a hole in the sky and fucked off with Aradia and that sunglassed douche. And now, you're stuck here.

** Sollux: ponder quadrants **

Your thoughts wander back to Feferi. Now that Aradia is gone, your quadrants are back to being empty, and you've been meaning to reconnect with her anyway. You guess you'll look around for her ghost. She's got to be here.

You mean, of course she's here. There's no way she could still be out there in paradox space, right?


	2. Be Feferi

You are now Feferi Peixes.

In a dream bubble.

In the past.

You are being pulled through the air at breakneck speed by your (ex?) boyfriend Sollux Captor, along with your (ex.) half-sprite Nepeta Leijon.

W)(ere are we going?

idfk. elsewhere.

:33< elsewhere from what?

fr0m vriskas shitty navy

als0

He points over his shoulder. You see a pulsing, flashing rainbow light in the distance, faint but definitely there.

fr0m him.

w)(o?

l0rd english. hes the guy wh0s been destr0ying the dream bubbles.

w)(at!? T)(ats terribubble!

Sollux groans slightly, then continues talking.

yes. theres a massive assault 0n him planned very s00n. Im dr0pping y0u 0ff as far away as i can.

:33< why? We can take him!

we cant risk it. y0ure the alpha ff and np, you arent expendable.

At this you feel a twinge of sadness. Evidently, you were expendable, killed and not revived, left to float in the bubbles while your friends continued through their adventure. You glance down, and out of the corner of your eye see Nepeta do the same. Sollux doesn't seem to notice.

this sh0uld be a safe distance.

He drops you and Nepeta into the sand of a memory of a desert, then begins to fly upwards.

wait! You're not staying?

i have 0ther business to attend t0.

He flies away in the direction you came from.

You watch the sky for a few minutes more, maybe waiting for him to come back, then look down to see Nepeta putting on her trademark green trench coat.

w)(at )(appened to your pirate outfit?

:33< oh, i still have it.

She shows you the captchalogue card containing the black overcoat and :3-faced pirate hat.

:33< i just prefer my old outfit.

You can understand that. She has a lot of sentimental connection to her outfit, the blue accents reminding her of her moirail and the green symbolizing her blood color. You, however, will keep your naval outfit on. You like the overall aesthetic, with it's take-charge look and naval themes. Your old outfit also has a hole through it from when you got blasted through the gut with a beam of holy light by your ex-moirail. You hope Nepeta can find Equius, but you would much prefer to stay away from Eridan at all costs.


	3. Be Eridan

Years in the past...

But not many...

You are lying on a cold metal floor that you do not recognize. Where are you? 

** Eridan: Sit up. **

You look around. The area is vaguely familiar, and the air feels subtly... Malicious. Angry? It's full of negativity, all directed at you. It reminds you of the angels of LOWAA, but this place is too sterile to be your planet. Does your planet even exist anymore?

No, you realize. It was destroyed with all the others. When you fled to the meteor- that's where you are!

You look around, pausing to pose in front of a reflective wall. Looking good for having been attacked by a demon. Except- your sweater is ripped. It cuts off in the middle of your sign, leaving just one jagged line. When did that happen? You'll have to find Kanaya and ask her to fix it.

But- Kanaya is dead, you remember with horror. You killed her.

Oh god. But... She can't be. You- she came back to life, right? And-

** Eridan: Remember. **

You recall her scream of rage. The snap of a wand. The revving of a chainsaw.

You look up to your reflection. Your eyes have turned a milky white. Your pupils are gone.

You glance down to see a violet line trace itself around your waist, just under the cut-off edge of your sweater. You scream as your torso begins to slide off your legs.

** Be Nepeta. **

You are now Nepeta Leijon.

You have been traveling for a long time, so long you've lost track. All you've seen so far is sand and the occasional rock. Feferi has had to stop to sit down many times. She is not built for land, and she claims to have a layer of blubber, which isn't helping with the heat. Fortunately by now dusk has fallen, dropping the temperature to very cold, which she is much more comfortable with. You've had to put your pirate coat on over your trench coat.

You see a tall building up ahead.

:33< fefurry, look! 

w)(at is t)(at? 

You try to make out the silhouette. The structure is tall and dark, getting slightly thinner as it rises higher. On top is the shape of a barkbeast head that reflects the stars above.

maybe we can rest t)(ere! 

She walks toward the structure, motioning for you to follow.

You reach the building and find a small miniature city made of cans, mailboxes, bullets, and random miscellaneous pieces of metal. It is situated in the center of an area formed by several metal constructions: a can shaped one, a spherical one with a propellor extending from the top, an egg shape, and the barkbeast head on top of the tall stone building. All of them bear the logo of a human house segmented into four pieces, with the top right one segmented again. You are reminded of the hive seen on SGRUB constructs.

t)(is place looks deserted. 

She's right. These were likely owned by exiled carapacians, incapable of producing ghosts. All this stuff is basically free for the taking.

** Nepeta: You're starving! **

That's not a command, but that doesn't stop it from being true!

:33< let's eat some of this scruff from the cans! 

You grab a can labeled "BEANS" and pierce the tip with your claw, giving it an experimental taste. Feferi picks up one labeled "SEAWEED" and you open it for her. You get busy lighting a fire.

** MEANWHILE... **

A figure watched from a stone temple. Two visitors, unrecognizable in their cloaks.

Sure hands prepare a weapon.

Steady...

The leaner of the two finishes lighting the fire, her familiar face illuminated.

A gasp from the figure. His surprise causes his hands to stiffen, which in turn cause his bow to break in two.

He retreats into the temple to prepare for a reunion long overdue.


End file.
